new piano piece. overly simplistic/ semi-uncomfortable to listen to, but it feels good to play.
One of the best albums I’ve heard in a really long time.
didn’t think it was possible to miss people this much, not knowing when you can see them again // my gurlllllzzzzzz
i decided to pour out the rest of my freshly opened can of beer and soberly drive away from this god awful place with my drunk best friend in the front seat. She could no longer stand the sight of the bed and I that stupid door. Her childish antics were amplified as we screamed the mantras of our…
GOD: I own you like I own the caves.
THE OCEAN: Not a chance. No comparison.
GOD: I made you. I could tame you.
THE OCEAN: At one time, maybe. But not now.
GOD: I will come to you, freeze you, break you.
THE OCEAN: I will spread myself like wings. I am a billion tiny feathers. You have no idea what’s happened to me.
—Dave Eggers, How We Are Hungry (via larmoyante)
We stayed out all night driving and screaming, until the buses were out and picking up kids, taking them to middle school, high school even. Our anger made us drive faster, but the fog scared us suddenly, we calmed down for the time being and we slowed down, following an 18-wheeler all the way down the mountain just so that we could see which way the road bent.
There was never any climax to any of it, which drove me crazy. I kept thinking, “Alright, this is the worst part, everything else will get better from here on”, but that wasn’t the case. Each night it built up, and our thoughts became bitter and harder to explain. Each night we said the wrong things and couldn’t take them back, we left too early or stayed too late. I slowly understood that it would never end. Life builds upon itself, and the climax is death. We’ll be begging, waiting for it. We used to think that things got better. In reality, things become worse and harder in new ways. That variation is the only relief we have. The sense of change and of fresh starts. New years, birthdays, graduations, and weddings. All of these are new terrors.